Bad Days

We all have bad days. It happens. Some of us wake up in a bad mood, some of us are hit with challenge after challenge. Whatever the reason, bad days happen. I've learned that I can either lie down and let the bad day take over me, or I can change my attitude and try to turn the day around.

As a parent, I find that we have many bad moments, but that if I can force myself to get through them, I can still have a good day. Admittedly, there are days where I do lie down and let those bad moments turn into a bad mood and, inevitably, a bad day. I try not to, though, since I've got a little toddler who needs me to be in a good mood, and needs me to lead by example and show him how to overcome his bad moods. He's learning how to express his emotions, and unfortunately, he's not very good at it yet. Someone once told me that toddlers won't let go of themselves and let their guard down unless they are with someone they trust will love them no matter what. Someone they trust fully and completely. So when my toddler lets out all of his craziness, screaming and crying and thrashing on the floor, and when he does this only around me I try to remind myself that he loves me and trusts me enough to let his guard down. He's not perfect for Nana because she's better than me, he's not better behaved for daddy because he's a better parent than I am. It's because he knows mommy loves him unconditionally.

Often, my almost two year old is the source of my bad moods, and usually, his tantrums are the source of our bad moments. I love him endlessly, but boy that kid knows how to push me to the edge of sanity!

This morning we had a very very bad moment. We've been slowly heading into the land of terrible twos for a little while now, but the closer we get to two, the worse it gets. This morning we cheerfully made our way to the breakfast table. I've been working hard with Ty on manners and proper table behaviour, so when he started throwing his cereal on the floor, I put a stop to it. Commence epic tantrum. This was the worst tantrum he's ever had. I sent him to his room (mostly because his baby brother was in the room and I didn't want him to hurt the baby), and he proceeded to thrash around, screaming and crying so hard he was doing that shuddering breath thing. He was banging his head against the floor and wall so hard that he has a bruise and small bump. I am proud to say that, while holding him down so he wouldn't give himself (or me) a concussion, and trying desperately to calm him down, I managed to keep my cool. As soon as I got him calmed down, we hugged and he went back to breakfast (which he DIDN'T throw on the floor, hooray!), I went to my bedroom and cried. I blame hormones, mostly, but I think it was just a very trying moment for me as a mommy.

The best part is, despite the really bad start to the day, I got both kids dressed and out the door and we went outside to take advantage of the fact that for the first time all week, it wasn't raining!